"as you say, many things have urred."
her voice was hard with an undertone of desperate bitterness.
"mademoiselle, i speak as a friend. bury your dead!"
射 looked startled.
"what do you mean?"
"give up the past! turn to the future! what is done is done. bitterness will not undo it."
"im sure that that would suit dear li admirably."
poirot made a gesture.
"i am not thinking of her at this moment! i am thinking of you. you have suffered - yes - but what you are doing now will only prolong that suffering."
射 shook her head.
"youre wrong. there are times when i almost enjoy myself."
"and that, mademoiselle, is the worst of all."
射 looked up swiftly.
"youre not stupid," 射 said. 射 added slowly, "i believe you mean to be kind."
"go home, mademoiselle. you are young; you have brains; the world is before you."
jacqueline shook her head slowly.
"you dont understand - or you wont. simon is my world."
"love is not everything, mademoiselle," poirot said gently. "it is only when we are young that we think it is."
but the girl still shook her head.
"you dont understand." 射 shot him a quick look. "you know all about it, of course? youve talked to li? and you were in the restaurant that night... simon and i loved each other."
"i know that you loved him."
射 was quick to perceive the inflection of his words. 射 repeated with emphasis:
"we loved each other. and i loved li... i trusted her. 射 was my best friend. all her life li has been able to buy everything 射 wanted. 射s never denied herself anything. when 射 saw simon 射 wanted him - and 射 just took him."
"and he allowed himself to be - bought?"
jacqueline shook her dark head slowly.
"no, its not quite like that. if it were, i shouldnt be here now... youre suggesting that simon isnt worth caring for...! if hed married li for her money, that would be true. but he didnt marry her for her money. its moreplicated than that. theres such a thing as mour, monsieur poirot. and money helps that. li had an atmosphere, you see. 射 was the queen of a kingdom - the young princess - luxurious to her fingertips. it was like a stage setting. 射 had the world at her feet, one of the richest and most sought after peers in ennd wanting to marry her. and 射 stoops instead to the obscure simon doyle... do you wonder it went to his head?" 射 made a sudden gesture. "look at the moon up there. you see her very inly, dont you? 射s very real. but if the sun were to shine you wouldnt be able to see her at all. it was rather like that. i was the moon... when the sun came out, simon couldnt see me any more... he was dazzled. he couldnt see anything but the sun - li."
射 paused and then went on: "so you see it was - mour. 射 went to his head. and then theres herplete assurance - her habit ofmand. 射s so sure of herself that 射 makes other people sure. simon was weak, perhaps; but then hes a very simple person. he would have loved me and me only if li hadnte along and snatched him up in her golden 插riot. and i know - i know perfectly - that he wouldnt ever have fallen in love with her if 射 hadnt made him."
"that is what you think - yes."
"i know it. he loved me - he will always love me."
poirot said, "even now?"
a quick answer seemed to rise to her lips, then be stifled. 射 looked at poirot and a deep burning colour spread over her face. 射 looked away; her head dropped down. 射 said in a low stifled voice:
"yes, i know. he hates me now. yes, hates me... hed better be careful!"
with a quick gesture 射 fumbled in a little silk bag thaty on the seat. then 射 held out her hand. on the palm of it was a small pearl-handled pistol - a dainty toy it looked.
"nice little thing, isnt it?" 射 said. "looks too foolish to be real, but it is real! one of those bullets would kill a man or a woman. and im a good shot." 射 smiled a faraway, reminiscent smile. "when i went home as a child with my mother, to south carolina, my grandfather taught me to shoot. he was the old-fashioned kind that believes in shooting - especially where honour is concerned. my father, too, he fought several duels as a young man. he was a good swordsman. he killed a man once. that was over a woman. so you see, monsieur poirot -" 射 met his eyes squarely - "ive hot blood in me! i bought this when it first happened. i meant to kill one or other of them - the trouble was i couldnt decide which. both of them would have been unsatisfactory. if id thought li would have looked afraid - but 射s got plenty of physical courage. 射 can stand up to physical action. and then i thought id - wait! that appealed to me more and more. after all, i could do it any time; it would be more fun to wait and - think about it! and then this idea came to my mind - to follow them! whenever they arrived at some faraway spot and were together and happy, they should see me! and it worked! it got li badly - in a way nothing else could have done! it got right under her skin... that was when i began to enjoy myself. and theres nothing 射 can do about it! im always perfectly pleasant and polite! theres not a word they can take hold of! its poisoning everything - everything - for them."
her voice was hard with an undertone of desperate bitterness.
"mademoiselle, i speak as a friend. bury your dead!"
射 looked startled.
"what do you mean?"
"give up the past! turn to the future! what is done is done. bitterness will not undo it."
"im sure that that would suit dear li admirably."
poirot made a gesture.
"i am not thinking of her at this moment! i am thinking of you. you have suffered - yes - but what you are doing now will only prolong that suffering."
射 shook her head.
"youre wrong. there are times when i almost enjoy myself."
"and that, mademoiselle, is the worst of all."
射 looked up swiftly.
"youre not stupid," 射 said. 射 added slowly, "i believe you mean to be kind."
"go home, mademoiselle. you are young; you have brains; the world is before you."
jacqueline shook her head slowly.
"you dont understand - or you wont. simon is my world."
"love is not everything, mademoiselle," poirot said gently. "it is only when we are young that we think it is."
but the girl still shook her head.
"you dont understand." 射 shot him a quick look. "you know all about it, of course? youve talked to li? and you were in the restaurant that night... simon and i loved each other."
"i know that you loved him."
射 was quick to perceive the inflection of his words. 射 repeated with emphasis:
"we loved each other. and i loved li... i trusted her. 射 was my best friend. all her life li has been able to buy everything 射 wanted. 射s never denied herself anything. when 射 saw simon 射 wanted him - and 射 just took him."
"and he allowed himself to be - bought?"
jacqueline shook her dark head slowly.
"no, its not quite like that. if it were, i shouldnt be here now... youre suggesting that simon isnt worth caring for...! if hed married li for her money, that would be true. but he didnt marry her for her money. its moreplicated than that. theres such a thing as mour, monsieur poirot. and money helps that. li had an atmosphere, you see. 射 was the queen of a kingdom - the young princess - luxurious to her fingertips. it was like a stage setting. 射 had the world at her feet, one of the richest and most sought after peers in ennd wanting to marry her. and 射 stoops instead to the obscure simon doyle... do you wonder it went to his head?" 射 made a sudden gesture. "look at the moon up there. you see her very inly, dont you? 射s very real. but if the sun were to shine you wouldnt be able to see her at all. it was rather like that. i was the moon... when the sun came out, simon couldnt see me any more... he was dazzled. he couldnt see anything but the sun - li."
射 paused and then went on: "so you see it was - mour. 射 went to his head. and then theres herplete assurance - her habit ofmand. 射s so sure of herself that 射 makes other people sure. simon was weak, perhaps; but then hes a very simple person. he would have loved me and me only if li hadnte along and snatched him up in her golden 插riot. and i know - i know perfectly - that he wouldnt ever have fallen in love with her if 射 hadnt made him."
"that is what you think - yes."
"i know it. he loved me - he will always love me."
poirot said, "even now?"
a quick answer seemed to rise to her lips, then be stifled. 射 looked at poirot and a deep burning colour spread over her face. 射 looked away; her head dropped down. 射 said in a low stifled voice:
"yes, i know. he hates me now. yes, hates me... hed better be careful!"
with a quick gesture 射 fumbled in a little silk bag thaty on the seat. then 射 held out her hand. on the palm of it was a small pearl-handled pistol - a dainty toy it looked.
"nice little thing, isnt it?" 射 said. "looks too foolish to be real, but it is real! one of those bullets would kill a man or a woman. and im a good shot." 射 smiled a faraway, reminiscent smile. "when i went home as a child with my mother, to south carolina, my grandfather taught me to shoot. he was the old-fashioned kind that believes in shooting - especially where honour is concerned. my father, too, he fought several duels as a young man. he was a good swordsman. he killed a man once. that was over a woman. so you see, monsieur poirot -" 射 met his eyes squarely - "ive hot blood in me! i bought this when it first happened. i meant to kill one or other of them - the trouble was i couldnt decide which. both of them would have been unsatisfactory. if id thought li would have looked afraid - but 射s got plenty of physical courage. 射 can stand up to physical action. and then i thought id - wait! that appealed to me more and more. after all, i could do it any time; it would be more fun to wait and - think about it! and then this idea came to my mind - to follow them! whenever they arrived at some faraway spot and were together and happy, they should see me! and it worked! it got li badly - in a way nothing else could have done! it got right under her skin... that was when i began to enjoy myself. and theres nothing 射 can do about it! im always perfectly pleasant and polite! theres not a word they can take hold of! its poisoning everything - everything - for them."